I lived so many years in a stupor being capable of turning crystals green

Now I’m sober it’s different and naturally alters my state of mind

Experiencing a wider range of feelings than I felt before

Emotional intelligence can be an awkward companion though

Having more heightened emotions makes how I feel become revealing 

And revealing is exactly what it says it is and can lay you bare

In the past when limited to anger and lust it seemed an easier place

A simple straight choice of f*** you or f*** you was mostly how it was

Supposedly strong and able to cope with a glass permanently in hand

Just accepting not being able to see, or so it seemed

Life was a breeze back in those hazy days when totally blind with drink

Lack of confidence or shyness masked with a cloak of inebriated skills

Popular and sociable but really an island of loneliness in an ocean of friends 

No matter why, when or where I was the first through the door and the last leave

Not sure when it happened but I started to dislike myself

Like a stereotyped actor playing characters I no longer believed in

Knowing where I was heading I felt something seriously needed to change

Sometimes I wonder how it is that the new simple can be so complicated

There seems much more to balance with a supposedly clear head

But can your head be clear if your mind is cluttered with so many thoughts 

Clarity appears to bring overthinking which sometimes doesn’t help

When the darkness descends it weighs much heavier than before

So I tell myself that I need to plant my feet firmly and embrace reality

But that’s hard to do when unsure of what or who you are

I don’t understand myself sometimes so how to explain to others

I need my head in country roads not speeding down motorways

It is true that life is full of challenges but often the biggest of all is ourselves